Jaxx's Journey

“A week before giving birth, I had a strong intuition that something wasn’t right. I was dealing with bleeding and constant pain, so I presented myself to the hospital. However, despite being monitored briefly each day, I was consistently sent back home without any signs of concern. On Thursday, I believe I lost my mucus plug, yet I was once again discharged. However, the pain intensified, accompanied by heavier bleeding, leading me to return to the hospital on Saturday morning.

At that point, my cervix had dilated, indicating the need for a transfer to a different hospital that could handle a baby at Jaxx's gestational stage. The midwife informed me that upon arrival, they would either attempt to slow down my labor or I would give birth that day. Deep down, I knew my baby was on his way. As the ambulance arrived, I couldn't sit still and found myself pacing beside the bed. In just a few minutes, my contractions rapidly increased from 15 minutes apart to only 2 minutes apart.

I distinctly recall the ambulance stopping on the side of the highway, as it seemed I might deliver right there on the side of the road. After what seemed like a lifetime, we arrived at the hospital, and within 30 minutes, no pain relief and only 4 or 5 pushes, our baby boy entered the world. The delivery room was filled with doctors and midwives. I had a brief moment to hold him before he was quickly taken to the NICU and it was another 24 hours before I could hold again.

Jaxx arrived nearly 10 weeks premature, weighing 1840 grams and measuring 41 centimeters in length. Despite his early arrival, he was perfect in every way.

Little did we know that this was just the beginning of the 52 days we would spend at the hospital...

Immediately, Jaxx was placed in an isolette to regulate his body temperature. He required CPAP assistance for breathing and could only be fed through a feeding tube. Our journey was far from ordinary. All the usual first experiences within the initial 24-48 hours of a newborn's life had to be postponed until he was over 4 weeks old. Our first bottle feed, first breastfeed, first bath, and even the first time he wore clothes—all of these milestones held even greater significance for us.

There was no “normal” postpartum recovery for me; instead, our days were filled with lengthy stays in the Special Care Nursery.

Jaxx developed chronic lung disease, a heart murmur, a small brain bleed, sleep apnea, and a few other daunting hospital diagnoses. I later learned that these conditions were common among premature babies, but as first-time parents, it was still terrifying to hear.

I had longed to be a Mumma since I was a little girl, but I never envisioned spending my postpartum journey anxiously wondering if my baby would make it beyond the hospital walls.

This experience has shaped me beyond belief and although our journey still presents challenges, I am grateful every day for our incredibly courageous little boy.” NICU mama, Bree